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10-things-I-d-tell-my-best-friend-about-giving-birth

10 Things I'd Tell My Best Friend About... Giving Birth

She might not want to hear these!

 

1. You are not prepared

 

It doesn’t matter how much reading you’ve done, how much visualisation, how much talking to your mother or the midwife – when the first real contractions, the really heavy, painful ones, hit, all those things will go clean out of your head. At which point you may very well find yourself telling God ‘Ok, it’s not for me. Let’s just make me un-pregnant, as if this never happened, and we’ll say no more about it…’ But it is of course too late, and the only way out is through. Deep breath.

 

2. Epidural v no epidural? Whatever...

 

Seriously. It matters far less than you might think now. Do whatever works for you, but know this – by the time three months have passed, you will barely remember which way you did it. Because – and here’s the thing - it's very hard to get one’s head around at first – giving birth is only the beginning! Often, the really hard work comes next.

 

3. Make a birth plan, by all means

 

It’s an excellent idea and will give doctors/midwives a clear idea of how you want this to go, as well as giving you a chance to think through the various aspects of childbirth – but, that said, be prepared for the unexpected to occur. No matter how carefully you have written the script, this is Nature, and Nature can take its own course. If the birth plan needs to be abandoned, let it go. A good outcome is the main thing, not how closely you have adhered to the plan you drew up.

 

4. Some women are really good at this bit

 

They tune into their own internal rhythms and breathe their way through intense pain and panic. The rest of us just put our trust in the doctor or midwife and hope for the best. But that’s ok too.

 

5. Producing a baby is rather more gory an experience than you might have expected

 

I’m talking medieval levels of blood and stuff here. Somehow, I didn’t quite expect that first time around. And of course we are conditioned to go into alarm-mode when we see blood. Try and remember, this is ‘normal’ – although you may well take issue with Nature’s idea of ‘normal’…

 

6. There is no feeling in the world like the joy of holding your baby for the first time

 

No matter how painful, traumatic, bewildering the birth, everything recedes the moment that child is in your arms. It will even wipe the look of shock from your partner’s face and allow him (or her) to begin to forget what he (she) has witnessed. For a while anyway (don’t be entirely surprised if you catch a strange look on their faces for a while afterwards as they contemplate you…)

 

7. When you say ‘I’m never doing that again,’ you will mean it

 

Wholeheartedly. But not for very long. Yes, the memory fades, just as everyone tells you it will, until it becomes a sort of hazy, nostalgic glow – ‘gosh, I can’t believe I did that…’ Then, you have another baby, the time comes, pain starts up and you think ‘uh-oh, now I remember…’

 

8. Every birth is different, just as every baby is different

 

If you have previously had a difficult experience, try to trust that this one will be easier. And if everything went wonderfully the last time, keep in mind that there is no formal guarantee that you will get the same again.

 

9. Whatever you thought you might do with that placenta...

 

Whether it was to eat or plant it, do not be surprised if, when actually confronted with that mass of bloody tissue, these all evaporate and you find yourself agreeing heartily with the midwife when she suggests disposing of it.

 

10. Because anyway...

 

You have other things on your mind. The really wonderful thing about giving birth is how little any of the things you planned, hoped and feared actually matter when you find yourself with your very own baby in your arms.
What would you tell your best friend about giving birth?

About the Author

Journalist, author & mother of 3. Here to give us an honest insight into family life. 
 

Comments

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melissa cole
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29/05/2017 14:57:33

user icon
melissa cole
I want to thank you for the good work you have done for me,at first I thought it was a scam not until I receive all the Herbal medications that cure my Fibroid and give me the chance to become a proud mother Dr climent is a great spiritualist, He did it for me, you can contact him on ( drclimentscott@gmail.com drclimentscott@gmail.com ). If you are suffering from the following gynecology disease:: (Whats App number +2347036879479 +2347036879479 ) 1. Trying to get pregnant 2. Infection 3. Blockage from the fallopian Tube 4. Cyst from the ovaries 5. Unpleasant smell from the virginal 6. Irregular menstruation 7. Infertility for easy Conception.. 8. skin diseases, Toilet infection and bad body odor 9. Fibroid Etc.. Simply contact the spiritualist Dr Scott on (drclimentscott@gmail.com ) to get his Herbal Medication to cure your disease and put yourself on a motherhood side of life..
29/05/2017 14:53:46

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