main banner

21-Things-Pregnant-Women-Are-Sick-of-Hearing

21 Things Pregnant Women Are Sick of Hearing

From friends to random strangers on the street, being pregnant attracts a lot of speculation, advice and questions. Who knew nine months could feel so long?

1. Hey, why aren’t you drinking?

Er no reason. Antibiotics. UTI. That sort of thing.

Read Next: Cheers: The Best Non-Alcoholic Drinks For Your Pregnancy

2. OMG you’re pregnant! Congrats! I was thinking you looked a little different.

FYI that's code for fat.

3. So was it planned?

Was this question planned?

4. Eat something. You’ll feel better, I swear. It worked for me.

Thanks for the morning sickness tip, but I have to go puke now.

5. Are you finding out the sex?

Maybe. Maybe not. We'll keep you posted.

6. You shouldn’t be doing that, you’re pregnant, you know.

Am I? Oh I am. Thanks for the reminder! I think I can still carry this chair though.

7. My sister’s friend’s cousin’s mother-in-law had a 12 lb baby and her bladder came out with it.

Every pregnant woman just loves to hear labour and delivery horror stories.

8. Wow, you’ve really…popped.

Well, there is a human growing inside me so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

9. You’re carrying high. It’s definitely a boy.

Oh, okay.

10. You’re carrying low. It’s definitely a boy.

Where did you say you went to medical school again?

11. You're going to poop in the delivery room. Everyone does.

Thanks for bringing it up.

12. Are you disappointed/relieved that it’s a boy/girl?

You did not go there.

13. Hope you’re getting plenty of sleep. You won’t get any when the baby comes!

Sleep is for the weak anyway.

14. You ate blue cheese/sushi/deli meat? Uh oh.

And look, I'm still alive! Yay!

15. I read in a magazine that having an epidural can leave you paralysed.

You read it in a magazine? Then it must be true!

16. Good god, your boobs are ENORMOUS.

Yup, they are and it's not a bad thing.

17. Don’t buy any newborn clothes. Waste of money.

But...what will the baby wear?

18. Have you packed your hospital bag yet? Don’t forget to bring X, Y and four Zs.

Just enough space left for the kitchen sink, thanks!

19. Wow you’re huge. Are you sure it’s not twins?

I'm pretty sure. But I did fall asleep during my last scan so...

20. Still no sign of the baby?

Oh yeah, I gave birth yesterday. I knew I had something to tell you!

21. Congrats, you’re a mum! Here, give me that baby.

Just, no.

As always, we would love to hear your opinions. Please leave a comment below.


About the Author

Sarah Breen is a freelance journalist and mother to two-year-old India. She likes cheese, pedicures and trying to convince other parents to use cloth nappies. Her dream dinner party guests are Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, Mindy Kaling and Noel Gallagher.

Comments

Please login to leave a comment.