main banner

58-thoughts-every-woman-has-during-labour

58 Thoughts Every Woman Has During Labour

Becoming a mom is one of the most exciting things that a woman can experience.

But before you can hold that baby in your arms, you first have to get it out of your body. It’s called labour because it’s bloody hard work. If you’ve done it in the past, you probably remember these thoughts.

And if it’s in your future, brace yourself: you’re in for a challenging few hours.

Remember though, it’s a means to an end…
  1. Was that a contraction?
  2. Maybe I’ll start my stopwatch. Just in case. See if another one comes along…
  3. Okay, that was definitely a contraction.
  4. And another one!
  5. I’M IN LABOUR. YASSS! FINALLY!
  6. Oh no, I’m in labour. Noooo.
  7. That was a painful one.
  8. Should I eat something now?
  9. I should definitely drink water. It’s important to stay hydrated.
  10. Better text my mother.
  11. Why did I do that? I don’t have time to reply to her.
  12. I can’t believe I’m going to finally meet this baby.
  13. This is going well. I’m handling it.
  14. Must locate hospital bag…
  15. I feel like I’ve forgotten to pack something. What was it?
  16. Maybe I should get in the bath.
  17. Somebody run me a bath!
  18. Mmmm bath.
  19. This is happening. This is really happening.
  20. Did I remember to buy sheets for the Moses basket?
  21. I forgot the sheets! I’m a terrible mother! They’re not going to let me keep the baby.
  22. Okay, things are definitely progressing.
  23. Maybe I should have done that perineal massage…
  24. I hope the baby’s okay. It’s gone a bit quiet in there
  25. I’ll walk! Yes, the book says to walk to keep things moving.
  26. I’m tired. The book also says I should conserve my energy.
  27. No, lying down does not feel good.
  28. They’re getting worse. What if I can’t cope with the pain?
  29. Okay, time to go to the hospital.
  30. Drugs or no drugs? Drugs or no drugs?
  31. Great, now I have to sit in the car for 20 minutes.
  32. Mmmmm need to get in the zone.
  33. Contractions getting stronger. Must relax. Breeaaathe.
  34. Ah the hospital. Finally. Everything is going to kick off now.
  35. Great, an internal examination. Buy a girl dinner first?
  36. Four centimetres?! Are you kidding me?!
  37. Where are the stairs? I’m going to walk this baby out of my body.
  38. Oh, I have those pyjamas too. Penneys.
  39. Need to get to 10 centimetres. Need to get to 10 centimetres.
  40. ARRRGGGHHH!
  41. Drugs or no drugs? Drugs or no drugs?
  42. I can do this. Women have done this for generations. I am woman, hear me ROAR!
  43. OMGOMGOMGOMG.
  44. When can I have the drugs?
  45. Someone get in here and tell me how many centimetres I’m dilated.
  46. Yeah, I don’t care what your name is. Just get your hand up there.
  47. Ten centimetres! BINGO!
  48. The pressure. Oh the pressure.
  49. I’m doing great? Doesn’t feel like it.
  50. Mmmm breathe. Just breathe through the pain.
  51. Transition: the worst part. That means it will be over soon!
  52. Hair! You can see the baby’s hair?!
  53. Must get this baby out. Must push.
  54. Must not burst blood vessels in face though. Think of the photographs.
  55. PUUUUSSSSSHHHHHH!
  56. I HAVE A BABY!
  57. Hang on a sec, here comes the placenta.
  58. Ahhhhh. I won’t be doing that again for a while
Does this match your thoughts during labour? Any more to add to the list? Share them below in the comments section. 

About the Author

Sarah Breen is a freelance journalist and mother to two-year-old India. She likes cheese, pedicures and trying to convince other parents to use cloth nappies. Her dream dinner party guests are Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, Mindy Kaling and Noel Gallagher.

Comments

Please login to leave a comment.