Think 'I'll Never Do That'? You Will, You Know.
As our Featured Writer Of The Month for December, we have Maria Rushe; talking about how everyone dreams of being the perfect parent, but everyone ends up winging it ... and that's ok!
It's particularly important to remember in the run-up to Christmas, so make sure you give yourself the credit you deserve! If you'd like to be our next Featured Writer, you can find more details here.
You will, you know.
Everyone is the perfect parent...until they have children.
Who said this first? I have no idea.
Who says it now? Me. Every single day!
I am the proud and enthusiastic Mama bear to a 5 year old Drama Queen and an 18 month old Dictator. I spend my days winging it through EVERYTHING… breakfast, school runs, work, homework, dinner, bedtime, marriage.
Some days, I feel like I NEARLY have my shit together. Most days, I want to stomp my foot, throw and tantrum and call for my own Mammy!
To many, I seem like I hold things together. Those closest to me, know I’m a fraud.
I don’t know what I’m doing.
I don’t deal with everything in a calm and mature fashion.
I don’t adore my children every single second of every single day.
I don’t always have the schedule sorted.
I don’t always remember everything I’m supposed to.
I don’t always know what’s wrong with the baby, just by her cry.
I don’t have a sparkly clean house.
I don’t always remember to wash the uniforms.
I don’t always give the right answer.
I don’t always say the right thing.
I don’t switch off my brain, even when it’s His turn to get up with them. I can’t.
I “Mammy” 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
Sometimes, I yell.
Sometimes, I bribe.
Sometimes the fridge is empty.
Sometimes, I’m so exhausted that I let them eat breakfast cereal for dinner. Sometimes, I pretend I don’t hear the monitor and carefully kick Daddy so he’ll have to get up instead.
Sometimes, I let them watch TV...a lot.
Sometimes, I swear.
Sometimes, I wish it were bedtime at 3pm.
Sometimes, I cry so hard that my Husband doesn’t know what to say.
Sometimes, I like being at work because I get to finish a coffee in peace...and I don’t feel guilty.
Sometimes, I get a babysitter and go out for dinner.
Sometimes, I hand the baby to Himself as he comes through the door and go for a run, or a pee.
Sometimes, I feel like I’m so utterly useless that someone, somewhere will certainly report me to an authority of some kind.
But ALWAYS, I love.
I am NOT a Stepford Mammy.
I will never get it ALL right.
No one can, because a perfect Mammy doesn’t exist, and as long as I love my girls fiercely, I’m already doing it right.
The moment that a Mammy realises that there is no such thing as “The right way” or “the proper way” of parenting, is a lightbulb moment. When you recognise that YOUR choices for your family are NO ONE’s business, a giant weight will be lifted off your tired shoulders.
You don’t have to justify your parenting.
You don’t have to explain why you breastfeed, or don’t; why you chose this school instead of that one; why you put the baby in their own room at 3 months, or why they still sleep in your room 2 years on.
The ONLY people who matter in your home, are YOUR FAMILY. And nothing or nobody outside of that matters.
If you are reading this, with your jaw on the floor, thinking “I will NEVER do those things!” You will, you know!?
You will bribe.
You will eat leftovers.
You will survive on 2 hours of broken sleep.
You will use Babywipes for EVERYTHING.
You will hate your partner for sleeping.
You will enjoy watching kids’ TV.
You will spend your money on the best you can afford for your kids, while wearing a 15 year old t-shirt.
You will be so excited at the offer of a babysitter, that you cry.
Oh, and you will cry; tears of frustration, tears of worry, tears of laughter and tears of pure, unconditional LOVE.
Because being a Mammy is sometimes crap, but it is ALWAYS wonderful.
And if you wonder if you’ll be a good Mum?
You will, you know. x
Donegal Mammy Maria Rushe is married to Emmet, and is Mammy to 2 little girls. She's been blogging for 3 years, writing an honest and witty account of being a Thoroughly Modern Mammy.
You can hear more from Maria on her wonderful blog the-smum.com.