Are We Missing The Point With 'Ways To Parent'?
To kick off our Featured Writer Of The Month series with August, we have Rachael Rochford; discussing whether too much talk of 'Ways To Parent' makes us lose sight of what is really important. If you'd like to be our next Featured Writer, you can find more details here.
Parenting of the Future?...
So, I just read an article about how parenting has changed in recent years, and how a lot of new parents said they would not adapt to any of the said 'old' ways, or ways their parents followed. And now, as a parent, I have to agree:
To me, every single parent is different; and we all choose different ways of parenting, that work for us and our children; and that should be respected for everyone. As far as I am concerned, it’s a case of my child, my business.
Parenting can be trying at times, but I think with all this talk of 'ways' to parent, we miss the point: When you looked into the face of that newborn baby, you didn’t think: “I wonder what she will score in her first spelling test,” or “I wonder will he eat all those dinners I’ll be cooking for him,” or even: “They better sleep in their cot straight away, or ELSE!” No; nothing so trivial. And besides, life doesn’t work that way, and whoever tells you otherwise is telling you a big ol’ porkey!
In fact, all you think about, is how you are going to show this little person how your love never ends for them: How you’re going to keep them warm and safe at night, and fill their days with happiness. It really is that little fairytale, going over and over in your head.
To me, being a Mom means trying to outweigh the bad days with the good. There is nothing I love more than seeing my baby happy and smiling. And of course, babies have their bad days; and when those bad days happen, whether it be the infant days, school-going days or teenage days; all you can do is make sure to be there. To listen, to hug, to reassure and say: 'You know what? You’re ok, because Mummy loves you.'
Being kind and loving, will give my daughter the confidence to be who she is, and to express herself. I want to encourage that. I remember being in the hospital, and my little one was all upset, and I honestly did not know what to do. No amount of bottle or winding or changing could fix this and I was clueless. Then a midwife came to me and said: “Sometimes, all she wants is a cuddle from her Mummy.” And there you have it: The cure to my daughters stress. A simple cuddle made everything go away. So natural and yet so simple in its effectiveness.
Even before my daughter was the size of a poppy seed, I knew that I wanted to show my future child how to be kind, and loving, and even disciplined. My child will obviously have everything she needs; but no amount of toys or fancy dresses will ever compare to that love. Just like this, no amount of using the old fashioned 'wooden spoon' technique will ever show her that hurting people is wrong. Not all will agree to that I know, but that is only my personal view: As said before, every single parent is different and what doesn’t work for one will work for another.
So the point here is that love conquers all. Our children grow too fast, so we just need to slow down, and smile with our children before it’s too late and they aren’t holding our hands anymore. That after all, only comes once in a lifetime.
Rachael is a 29 year old Mum of one to Isla, aged 19 months; from Co. Kildare: "I have found a love of putting words together to put out my thoughts and views, since becoming a Mum; and figuring out the hardships that come with it! I started a blog last year and now I am trying to find my way back in to this writing biz that I love so much, after a long break.
You can read more of Rachael's work on her blog: theimpendingjoysofmotherhood.wordpress.com