15 Stages of Taking your Child to the Cinema
So you have the kids for the day and are desperately thinking of something fun to keep them occupied and out of your hair. You’ll get this bright idea and think:
"Hey the cinema – that’s a great idea, this will keep the young’uns occupado for the next two hours, they’ll love it, they’ll be quiet and happy and maybe mom will even get to take a well-deserved nap. Great job moming, you mom you."
LOL NOPE. Enjoy the next two hours living these 15 stages of taking your child to the cinema - guaranteed to happen every time you go.
1. Excitement – what are we going to see Mommy? What are we going to see?!
2. The food – definitely popcorn because lets face it you forgot to bring snacks, and popcorn makes them thirsty so they’ll need a drink, and drinking means….
3. The stop to the loo before you even get into the theatre.
4. The price…. Sure, I’ll sell my kidneys to watch Alvin and the Chipmunks!
5. The awkward process of deciding if you’ll just try to rob some food from your children and hope they don’t notice, or if you should buy something for yourself.
6. The trip to the bathroom as soon as you get inside…
7. The next trip to the toilet – hmmm, clearly providing sustenance was a bad idea.
8. The shouting “Mommy, MOMMY, look at what they’re doing…” Yes darling, I can see that… so can everyone else – now indoor voice please!
9. Kicking the seat, and that awkward moment when the person in front turns around to give out...
10. Bribing – if you can stay quiet for the next 15 minutes, I’ll give you that piece of chocolate that I lied about losing earlier.
12. The inevitable shifting of child from person to person and seat to seat thus making any comfy squish you had gotten yourself into redundant… just stay STILL!!
13. When they get too tired to watch the movie anymore – hey they’re young they only have a short attention span.
14. When the movie is over and you have to carry them kicking and screaming through the lobby where they instantly remember their love of food and forget the four Peppa pig lollipops and vat of popcorn they ate during the movie.
15. Then you emerge out into the real world and realise that instead of bedtime it’s only 3pm on a Thursday.
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Written by Ruth Cooney for eumom