Do You Worry About Losing Your Financial Independence As A Mom?
Finishing college or secondary school it’s all about getting out there getting a job and being self-sufficient. Earning a wage paying your way, whether it be rent to your parents, or having the good fortune to have your own place. I have been working since I was seventeen and living out of home from a young age, so I am very independent. It is something I try to instil in my children even at this young stage, independence.
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You spend years working earning your own money. You buy your own cars, go shopping whenever you want. Eat out whenever you want. It’s your money to spend as you wish, and once your bills are paid you have no one to answer to. This is all pre-children. The glory days, the good times. The not struggling until payday times.
Then you have children and make the tough choice; to either go back to work or become a full-time stay at home mom. I made the choice to stay at home. I gave up a very good job and career to raise my own kids. It was a tough decision to walk away from my independence but I had already developed the serious illness called ‘mom guilt’. I could not face putting my children into a creche for eight hours a day.
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That’s just me. And I was so lucky to have that choice.
Fast forward three children later the eldest nearly twelve and I still cannot for the life of me get the concept of ‘Our Wages’. It enrages my husband something else when I text and say; ‘would you mind if I bought this’? Now I only feel this struggle when I am purchasing something for myself, not the kids. They are after all 50% his fault too!
No matter how many times we have had the conversation that it’s our money not his, I still cannot digest that concept. Losing your financial independence is a worry. You must consider if you want to return to work the cost of up-cycling your current qualifications or even if they are still relevant. Unfortunately staying at home does not look good on a Curriculum Vitae. Although if you broke it down the skills you have acquired been at home, especially negotiation skills, would put you in the running for most jobs out there.
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Can you imagine the long list of key responsibilities in an advertisement for the job of a stay at home parent? Then at the end, salary zero, non-negotiable. Would you apply? Of course not. As stay at home parents we fail to see that although we are not receiving a pay packet each week or month, we are still contributing, to the family and society by raising the next generation of scientists or doctors.
The non-existent wage packet will come back tenfold with the success of our children. Here’s hoping! It’s all equal in our house!