5 Ways Friendships Change When You Become A Mom
There is no greater change to your life than having a baby, even if you go on to have more than one, and the greatest change is still with that little bundle of chubby cheeks and squishy toes. With all of the things you have to think about, plan for and change, some of the things personal to you inevitably slide off the table.
Friends are one of those. And having a baby means you will lose some, gain some, and hold on to the best ones.
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1. Things Change
Haven’t had a decent night sleep since the night of fun that led to your firstborn making an appearance on the earth? Currently held together by a concoction of coffee, crisps and leftovers from your kid’s dinners? Yeah, I don’t really feel like sitting there listening to people who feel tired if they don’t get at least one nap a day in at the weekend moan about being tired either. Strange that. I stopped going to house parties when I realised I was spending most of my time screaming into matching and fetchingly arranged throw cushions. Maybe that’s their actual purpose? Am I having an existential crisis? I don’t know, I’m too tired.
2. You Change
Patience is finite, and I don’t know about you but between the politics of the school gate and the mammoth effort of trying to get everyone to school in the morning while looking semi-human, I've normally used all of mine up by midmorning. I can’t remember very much about my life before children, but I am informed that I used to listen and actively engage with people who had important problems such as, is twice a year too often to get their car serviced? Why are there so many kids filling up the good rides in Disneyland? Do you really have to have a child to park in the parent and child spots, they have little legs too? Do you not wash all your clothes after one wear? Where did you get your throw pillows? They are new…
3. Perceptions Change
You are a mom now, you must ditch all your old pre-child clothes, you must not go out and boogie, you are a bastion of not swearing, you are always prepared with handy tasty healthy snacks, drinks and humorous, never rude jokes. Yeah, I’m struggling with this one too, but on the upside, I have enough in my swear jar now to buy mom jeans. Winning. The bottom line is, anyone who refers to your children as a lifestyle choice can be avoided.
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4. Expectations Change
You have somehow managed to go from being out every night over the weekend, with a pyjama night thrown in because let’s face it, you all need to catch up on the news, to maybe - MAYBE -remembering to text each other twice a year. Which, given my current level of energy, is about as good as it gets. And guess what, when everyone else has children too, those biannual texts are better than any night out.
5. Making New Friends
This is tricky, but not impossible. I have made great new friends since having my two children, for me, it’s about finding other moms who have a similar outlook on life. I am not perfect, nor are my children, but if we can have a giggle about it over a g&t, we could be friends for life.
Have you experienced changes in your friendships since becoming a parent? Let us know your thoughts in the comments.