6 Tips for Successful Dating as a Single Mom
Dating as a single mom can be a minefield. Where do you even start? Getting back in the dating scene after a relationship breakdown can be tough, especially when there are children involved. Trying to find your perfect match as you attempt to juggle the children that count on you 24 hours a day, can seem an almost insurmountable task. But with these few short tips, we hope you’ll have the confidence to give it a go!
Written by Rena Maycock, Director of ARealKeeper.ie
Top tips to successful dating as a single mom:
1. Make the time right now
All too often women put their life on pause while they raise their children, letting life and opportunities pass them by. The younger the children are the easier they will find it to adapt to someone new coming into your life, so the sooner the better. So many of our clients are terrified that their teenage and even adult children will find out they are dating actively and be devastated. In the end your children will be happy that you are happy.
2. Have an open mind and realistic expectations
You won’t meet the perfect man, with the perfect circumstances, conveniently located that will slot neatly into your routine. Life is busy but we can all make room for that special someone. Nobody is perfect and everyone has their own life to live so compromise will be necessary but it will be worth it to find the right guy.
3. Do something
Whether it’s going to the best online dating sites in Ireland, joining a club, taking up a hobby, joining a matchmaking agency or going out on the town-for the love of God just do something proactive about meeting someone. We were on the Late Late show 3 years ago and even still 1 in 4 people that come to Intro tell us they saw us on the Late Late. Procrastination is what keeps Ireland in the grips of loneliness so take the bull by the horns and take action.
4. Make yourself a priority
Obviously your children come first but you should certainly come a very close second. Get your exercise, eat healthy, pamper yourself and treat yourself with kindness. Imagine you were your best friend, what would you encourage her to do? And do that! Once you are feeling good about yourself you’ll feel more confident and more able to be positive about the business of dating. Just remember, your happiness rubs off on the kids.
Going on one date and giving up if you don’t fall madly in love at first sight does not constitute getting back on the horse. It is unlikely that date #1 will be the man of your dreams so don’t pin all your hopes on one opportunity. Enjoy each date for what it is – at best it’s a great chance to possibly meet your perfect match and at worst you get out of the house and meet someone new who may not be “the one” but his brother might be so make a friend.
6. Live in the now, not in the past
Quite often when children are involved break-ups can get bitter and extremely painful, leaving a deep wound that won’t seem to fully heal. If you are unfortunate enough to have endured a tough history on the love front, please don’t let memories of partners past ruin your outlook on the opposite sex in general. Although pain can cause serious scars, there is someone out there that will value and respect you. Learn from mistakes by all means but survive and thrive with someone new. Start fresh with any new relationship and try and leave the emotional baggage at the door.
Remember that becoming a mom does not take your right to a happy life away and the right person will enrich your life so go forth and find them, they’re there, you just need to look in the right places.
Feargal and Rena established www.intro.ie, a face to face matchmaking agency in 2011 and have instilled all of their expertise gained over the past five years into Arealkeeper.ie to make it a genuine, safe, online dating option for Irish people looking for love. Visit: www.arealkeeper.ie