Always Too Tired To Have Sex? Try This Top Tip!
Author, sex coach, international speaker, magazine columnist and sexologist Trina Read is here to answer your relationship questions!
Triona's mission is to show couples how to have fun, fresh and meaningful sex. Check out Trina Read’s new book: 'Till Sex Do Us Part: Make your Married Sex Irresistible', or visit trinaread.com.
My husband and I are getting frustrated because whenever I try to initiate sex it doesn’t work out – he’s too tired or busy, and vice-versa. How do we get into sexual sync?
Trina: All it takes to get into sexual sync is a slight change of mindset: From believing great sex is something that happens naturally, to appreciating it requires effort. In fact, new research shows those people who believe the Hollywood ideal that passionate, fulfilling sex happens spontaneously are more likely to suffer from unpleasant and infrequent sex. The same study showed couples who understand their satisfaction requires effort are not only more likely to enjoy satisfying sex, they are also less likely to allow sexual difficulties to overshadow the rest of their relationship.
Granted the idea of scheduling sex can be off-putting for many couples, yet the reality is that with our heavily scheduled lives, sex most likely won’t happen at all without some pre-planning. That said, a lot of your effort will go into maintaining a positive mindset; knowing you get to have sex with your partner should spark your sexual imagination, thus allowing for intimacy to come from a place of true connection and sensuality.
Best Sex Tip
Putting in a good effort means it’s not always enough just to be receptive: Great sex occurs when both partners are proactive.
Got a question about your relationship? Let us know in the comments!