Things We Shouldn't Be Saying About Dads
Why is it that all women hate the phrase "women belong in the kitchen" but then continue to talk about how fathers are incompetent?
We need to stop. We need to stop treating fathers like they're an inept accessory to parenting. We need to stop grinning and giving other mothers "the look" when they tell us that their children are at home with dad.
Fathers are fully capable parents, it's time that we start giving them the credit for it.
Ashley Miller, a writer and mother, writes about an experience that she had at a playground one day. Her son was dressed in "mismatched shoes" and a "t-shirt covered in snack stains", a well meaning stranger was quick to comment "Looks like Daddy dressed you today!"
A disgruntled Ashley writes that she informed the women that it was in fact she who had dressed her child that day, and she was the one who had done the terrible job. She continues on by saying that whenever her husband dressing their little boy, he looks like a "catalogue model"
So there seems to be an automatic presumption that fathers can be blamed for parenting mistakes, because they are "obviously" the ones who made them. Dads are not given the credit for playing outside in the garden, teaching your toddler "hide and seek", for kissing bruised knees and skinned shins.
So when someone asks "Is Dad on babysitting duty today", we hope you reply with a solid no. No, because he is not a babysitter, he is a parent. A parent who loves and worries about his children as much as a mother does.
It seems that in today's society a father can only be portrayed in one of two ways.
- As an absent and abusive father
- As a well intentioned but dopey and utterly clueless father
Why cant we cant we accept that there are simply good dads who are competent and capable? Why can't we make the term "good dad" a part of everyday parenting language?
Well the media is partly to blame for this. In every baby product advertisement, all you see is a baby with a loving mother. Where is the father? - probably either at work or watching sports on t.v right? Even washing detergent brands stamp huge labels on their product saying "Mums Prefer" because apparently no one cares what dads prefer....No one cares about a father's opinion because the media is pushing the fact that they are not able parents.
So it's perfectly easy to see why the #dumbstuffdadsdo became a world wide trend on both instagram and twitter and yet there was nothing for mums. Is that because the world thinks that mums don’t do dumb stuff or make mistakes? - because that of course isn't true. How do mothers stop people stereotyping them as "the maternal goddess" when all they do is inadvertently bash the abilities of their partners?
If the world thinks that dads are "dumb" then how will the roles of parenting ever become equal?
So we at eumom want to give a big shout out to the dads of the world. We appreciate you and recognise that you are just as influential in the upbringing of a child as the mum is!