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5 Tips For Saving Your Relationship From Infertility

Infertility and three rounds of IVF treatment were the hardest thing that I have ever experienced. Our relationship was pushed to its very limits, and it nearly ended in divorce. Only the strongest relationship can withstand the test of infertility treatment.

A strong relationship takes hard work, dedication and compromise. The two failed treatments could have broken us but it brought us closer together. If you can get through IVF then you can get through any challenge life throws at you.

1.Put Your Partner First

My wife and I dreamed of having a family, and for a time it looked like that would never happen. My infertility diagnosis hit my wife much harder than it hit me. The bad news put her in a dark place for a long time. I felt guilty that my infertility caused her suffering. To make up for it I focused 100% on her and her happiness. I did everything in my power to make her life easier and make sure I could give her a family. Her wellbeing was my no.1 priority for over two-and-a-half years.

2. Take Holidays Together

This is so simple to do, but can often get overlooked while you are going through IVF treatment. IVF is expensive and it consumes all areas of your life. To have successful treatments, you need to put in a lot of hard work.

When you are working hard and focused on one thing it can be very draining. One of the best things that you can before, during and after treatment is to take a holiday together. A break from the stress of the treatment can be very refreshing. You need to switch your mind off the treatment and focus on enjoying your relationship.

3. Plan Date Nights

A simple date night keeps your relationship fresh. My wife loves trying new restaurants. Every week during IVF treatment we would make time to go for a nice meal. This simple act of sharing an experience together helps to break the monotony of sitting at home feeling depressed.

Read more: Top Ways To Overcome Fertility Challenges.

4. Do Something That They Love Daily

What does your partner love? I bought frozen croissants and baked them every morning when we were going through IVF treatment. When she woke up, I brewed a fresh coffee and brought her breakfast in bed.

Everybody is different. Find a little thing that your partner loves and do it daily. Keep it simple and be consistent. This reminds you that you are in love and keeps the flame lit. This simple daily act kept our relationship strong at the hardest time of our lives.

5. Don't Give Up

This is was one of the hardest things to do during IVF treatment. Going through assisted reproduction is not for everyone and giving up is much easier than being patient.

When our second treatment failed, I wanted to give up. My wife explicitly said that she would not stop until she had a family. I was only willing to go through one more try. The stress and pressure had become too much and I wanted my old life back.

Thankfully, we did not give up. We stayed strong and worked really hard to make the treatment work. Now, we are blessed with the most beautiful twins and our life feels whole. If you are going through IVF then stay strong and work harder on your relationship than you have ever worked before.

Are you struggling with infertility at the moment, or did you go through this? We'd love to hear your story.


About the Author

James was born and bred in Dublin, but now lives in Berlin with his wife Olivia. His blog www.scantilydad.com explores the journey from infertility to parenthood, while entertaining parents with funny stories and useful tips learnt along the way.

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