Sometimes, we get so tied up in the chaos of our everyday family lives, that we don’t see what’s right in front of our eyes. When a Dublin based mom, from The Butterfly Spy got in touch with us to share this honest and heartbreaking story, we knew we just had to share it with our readers. With our ever expanding families, I’m sure that this is something many of you can relate to.
She writes, “This is a story from the heart. It is hard to share, because it is very personal. We fell into a trap, that is easy to fall into, and if by sharing this, another family learns from our mistakes, then it makes it worthwhile!”
“Life can be cruel, life can be tough, people can bring you down. For me, it is important that our home is a safe place. At home, we have each other’s backs. We support, praise and encourage! We don’t judge, run down or mock. My boys will experience enough of this outside the home. Their home is a safe place.
Unfortunately this was not always the case in our home. Our youngest boys were born in quick succession, and very demanding. Our eldest bore the brunt of this. He was dismissed because I was tired, when the babies were sleeping he was told to be quiet, when the babies ruined his toys, or entered his room he was reprimanded because he was older and they cried louder, when they hit him, it didn’t matter, he was bigger and shouldn’t hit them back.
The babies became little boys and enjoyed motorbikes, the oldest didn’t, he became lost and lonely in a family of bike enthusiasts. His behaviour was becoming worrying. Until the truth was realised, our boy who had all the attention for seven years was now lost and lonely in his own home!
My husband and I were completely ashamed, how did we not see this sooner?
It is so tough trying to fit in on the outside, our poor boy was trying to fit in in his own home. This is when everything changed. Now it is important that our home is a safe place, where everything and anything goes, our baby is a super hero, our middle boy is a moto gp star, and our eldest is praised, accepted and encouraged for everything he achieves! (Except his ability to empty and reload the dishwasher, this is still a working progress).
So as our boy goes off to the Gealteacht, I wanted a reminder of our unit, that whatever challenges any of us face, there is always four smiling faces to have a laugh with, and forget everything else.
I bought some string, and we went camping on our last weekend together till August. We sat round the camp fire (disposable bbq tray) and we each put on our string, a symbol of our bond as a family! This is sounding very kumbayah, but you know what, I don’t care, because there are four other people in the world with a red string around their arm who love me for me and that’s all that matters!
Always and forever!”
Thank you for sharing! You can see the full post here on The Butterfly Spy Facebook page.