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45-thoughts-while-breastfeeding

45 Thoughts Every Mom Has While Breastfeeding

We all know breastfeeding is the best source of nutrition (and so much more) for babies, but when they’re newborn, it can sometimes feel like it’s all you do. Literally.
 

Stuck to the couch, for hours on end, every day. Which leaves plenty of time for your mind to wander...

1. Oh you want a feed? Hang on, it only takes me .4 seconds to unhook my bra.

2. Okay, calm down! Here comes the boob. Now, just be gentle while you…

3. ….LAAAATCH! Oh kerrist, that smarts. You’re scary when you’re hungry.

4. Great, I’ll just settle back and relax.

5. Nope, this doesn’t feel right. I’ll have to pop you off and start again.

6. Aaah it’s spraying everywhere! I need a towel!

7. Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry.

8. Now, let’s start again, shall we?

9. Open wide. Wider. No wider. Wiiiiiider.

10. That’s better. Now, I’m going to have to really get on you here.

11. This is a good latch. Nice work, everyone.

12. Shoot. Where’s my phone? I can't be stuck here for an hour with nothing to do!


13. I’m thirsty.

14. I’m hungry.

15. I need to pee.

16. I’m just going to scooch over here and grab the remote.

17. Got it! I feel an Orange is the New Black binge coming off.

18. Wait, did you just fall asleep?

19. No please, wake up. Keep sucking.

20. Okay, if you’re going asleep I’ll just put you down for a minute….

21. You’re awake! And you still want the boob? Of course you do.

22. Boob No.2 coming right up.

23. Lemme see that mouth open wide. Wider. Wiiiiiddder.

24. Perfect latch first time! We are nailing this!

25. Dammit, I’ve lost the remote.

26. Is it under me?

27. I’m still thirsty.

28. I’m still hungry.

29. Where is the remote?

30. I REALLY need to pee now.

31. Can I just take you off for a second?

32. Woah! I’ll take that as a no! Back on you go, so.

33. I wonder if I could… Do I dare try…?

34. Amazing! Fed while peeing! Breastfeeding advanced level: unlocked.

35. How did my phone get in the bathroom?

36. I think I’m losing my mind.

37. I have a new respect for dairy cows now.

38. I wonder how many calories I’m burning.

39. This is way easier than going to the gym. I mean, I’m not moving a muscle.

40. Can you taste the chocolate I ate earlier?

41. Mmmm I’d love some chocolate milk.

42. God, I’m really hungry now.

43. Aw, it looks like you’re falling asleep.

44. You’re so adorable. Being welded to the couch is worth it. Now, I’m just going to put you down and make a sandwich...

45. Aaaaand you’re awake! Here we go again…

As always, we would love to hear your opinions. Please leave a comment below.

About the Author

Sarah Breen is a freelance journalist and mother to two-year-old India. She likes cheese, pedicures and trying to convince other parents to use cloth nappies. Her dream dinner party guests are Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, Mindy Kaling and Noel Gallagher.

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