8 Unexpected Benefits of Becoming a Mom
1. Popeye arms
Okay so your body may have been ravaged by nine months of pregnancy, scone-eating (just me??) and the travails of giving birth but, boy oh boy, the effects of hauling a baby and associated paraphernalia around all day (and night in some cases) does wonders for the arms. Toned, taut and strong, if you really, really have to get in a photo for Facebook, make sure you get those arms bent Irish model-style circa 2007.
2. Watch out Jamie Oliver
With time at a premium, it may come as something of a surprise to learn that all of a sudden you are a gourmet cook par excellence. Peach compote, veal stew with parsnip puree, risotto Milanese with butternut squash and sage … Our mouths are watering at the mere descriptions. Of course, none of this food is for you. Oh no, your diet will consist of toast, Twixes and rather sad-looking bananas. But, worry not, your precious offspring will feast like kings. And repay you by using your tasty produce to make a mockery of gravitational teachings and a target of your white walls. Ah.
3. The long and the short of it
Ok so before you had a baby, going to the hairdressers of a Saturday morning was a chore and a half. Think of all the things you could be doing instead of just sitting there like an eejit reading ancient magazines and drinking lukewarm tea. Fast forward to now and WOW! You mean to tell me that I get to sit here on my own for over an hour while someone massages my head (bliss!), asks me how I’m feeling and gives me magazines to read? Surely there must be some kind of catch… Lukewarm tea you say? Sure I’m a mom, I don’t have it any other way!
4. Kimye who now?
I don’t know if it’s just us but doesn’t celeb-land just feel a little bit far away? Sure you still care and all (sort of) but the antics of two overpaid Americans on their honeymoon in Portlaoise just doesn’t seem as important now that you have your own little star sitting up in the living room. Sitting up if you don’t mind! (Although god love, Kim and Kanye, you’d know well they were parents … what do you want to do on honeymoon lovey? Can we go to the cinema on our own, can we, can we??)
5. Better out…
One of the best benefits of becoming a mom is the farewell to coyness that it entails. Before you may have been as ladylike as a lady can be, with no talk of bodily functions. Please! I am a laydee! Now, you can talk about puke and stools with the best of them. And are happy to. On and on and on. We think this is a great thing, life is too short to be precious about such natural things. Although when you find yourself taking a close-up picture of the contents of a nappy to send to your partner/mom/online community group, you may want to ask yourself if you’ve crossed the line.
6. Spuddy Gonzales
We’ve discussed your now-legendary gourmet abilities above, but what we haven’t mentioned is the fact that while before you peeled spuds in a time-consuming, frankly dangerous-to-fingers manner, as soon as you pick up that peeler post-child, everything is different. Fluid and fast, you can now peel spuds for the whole family – or parish, or whatever – in mere seconds. We don’t know why this happens, it just does. Trust us.
7. I’ll be there for you…
Making friends is often cited as a great benefit of becoming a new mom. But what may be slightly more unexpected is that these days did those new friends are just as likely to be in Leitrim or Termonfeckin as down the road. With all sort of online groups available, what used to be a scary and lonely time can be a lot easier when you have someone going through the exact same thing to compare notes (and nappy pics) with. (And isn’t it great to say you’ve a friend from Leitrim, just like in primary school when you’d send off for pen pals from exotic lands. Total letters received: One.)
8. Total recall
What’s this I hear you ask? Well yes it is quite the unexpected benefit that within hours of giving birth, your memory will be the best it’s ever been. You will never forget a name, face or birthday and what will definitely never happen is a conversation like this – You: So are you going to the party on Friday? Them: Em, you do know that today is Friday don’t you? You: *nervous laugh* Aha ha, sure, I was only kidding around, I always know EXACTLY what day it is… Okay so maybe we jest about this one, and maybe our memories just aren’t the same these days with so much going on but did we tell you that Junior is sitting up now, sitting up if you don’t mind!! (Sorry what were we talking about?)
As always, we would love to hear your opinions. Please leave a comment below.