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 Groups: Joined: 10/23/2008 Posts: 3,393
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Hey girls - I was just wondering if there are any foster parents out there and if so could you give me some advice on what it's like?
My husband and I are considering it as it's something I've always wanted to do. I would appreciate a realistic view of the whole process from someone in the know!
Our friends are social workers so we're hoping to pick their brains on the subject when we next see them.
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Groups: Joined: 3/25/2004 Posts: 3,694
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Hi there. My parents foster so I come from the background. We have applied to be foster carers ourselves but we can't do it until next year as our youngest DD is too young atm.
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Groups: Joined: 8/27/2006 Posts: 3,035
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We too want to foster and I have made initial enquiries. We have been delaying it over the last couple of years due to ttc issues.
I saw on the news last night that they are launching a Fostering Awareness Campaign here in Ireland and hoping to attract more people to become foster carers.
Call your local HSE for details if you are interested.
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 Groups: Joined: 7/7/2008 Posts: 617
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you might not see this in time but just in case glad2bmom they are talking about fostering on ireland am this morning at 9.20am hope you get to see it
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Groups: Joined: 8/27/2006 Posts: 3,035
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We have taken the fostering plunge and have applied to be foster parents. The assessment is under way. I am excited and terrified. The only problem is that my eldest ds who is now 16 and who previously didnt have a problem with us fostering is now unhappy with the idea and we know that we wont get approval if he stays this way. We dont want to pressurise him - he feels how he feels and our own kids must come first but I will be very sad if we dont get to do it because of this ....
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 Groups: Joined: 3/14/2005 Posts: 76
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I have done fostering now for about 14 years and found it very rewarding, i have had children to stay with us from one night to several years.It can be very challenging.As for your 15 year old , my own son was that age when i started and the one thing he use to get annoy was with was at one point the social workers,child care workers seem to be at our house all the time which would upset the whole family i sometimes its case of the unknown.I now only do long term.if i can be off any more help let me know..
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Groups:
Joined: 6/6/2006
Posts: 43
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Reply:quote:Originally posted by glad2bmom
<br />Hey girls - I was just wondering if there are any foster parents out there and if so could you give me some advice on what it's like?
My husband and I are considering it as it's something I've always wanted to do. I would appreciate a realistic view of the whole process from someone in the know!
Our friends are social workers so we're hoping to pick their brains on the subject when we next see them.
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Groups:
Joined: 6/6/2006
Posts: 43
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Hey, Just wondering on this subject how long does the assessment process take? Myself and my husband enquired about fostering a few years ago and were told that it is advisable that our youngest child be over the age of three. We since have had one more and she is now two so I am wondering if we should start the process now as I don't know if it is a long one.
Also, another question if anyone knows, would this effect our chances at intercountry adoption as we are on the waiting list for this assessment to begin (we have another 18/20 months to wait on this one).
If anyone knows about this your advice would be appreciated.
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Groups: Joined: 3/25/2004 Posts: 3,694
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september girl, i totally get where your eldest is coming from. i was very against my parents fostering and although it's a great thing and i love all the kids to pieces sometimes it bothers me still and i'm nearly 31! i have to tell myself to grow up at times. but it does knock the family out for a while when you are all settling in to it all. the one thing i would say is just make sure you listen to your eldest. i really thought i wasn't heard and my feelings weren't taken into account because my parents said it was their decision and none of my business. i still feel sometimes like my mum will hang up on me on the phone if there's a call coming through from a social worker or something, yet she'd never hang up on them for me lol. it's hard going but totally, totally worth it and watch, your eldest will probably be so close to any child you get.
just remember to listen and not get too caught up in it all.
hope that all came out the way i wanted it too lol
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Groups: Joined: 8/27/2006 Posts: 3,035
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Hi Jen - thanks a mil for that. The social worker was here yesterday for our initial visit and she did say that they will be speaking to all our kids individually and if any of them have a problem with foster children coming in then we wont be approved as the health board prioritises the welfare of our kids first before putting a foster child into the mix.
We tried to explain this to ds last night without putting pressure on him because genuinely we do want him to be happy about it and we dont want to force him into doing something he doesn't want to. This is his home and we dont want him to be unhappy either - I just wish he was happy to do it - this is the first time I have felt happy or excited about anything in about 3 years ... Its exactly three years now since I had my first miscarriage. But sure you cant burden a 16yr old with all that .....
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 Groups: Joined: 2/23/2009 Posts: 138
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oh im so glad to have found this thread!! anyone any updates since last year??
we have decided to try & foster too, im waiting on the call back to arrange the initial call out & im so excited about it all. what i didnt know was your youngest had to be over 3 our will be 3 in september. What happens then if you become pregnant whilst you have a foster child? are they placed somewhere else??
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Groups:
Joined: 7/8/2004
Posts: 2
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Hi Everyone,
My parents foster so I have had years of sw and little ones coming and going.
We have been fostering for 2.5yrs now. Our first fc has been with us all that time, and our second was only meant to be here 2wks but is still with us 8mths later.
If anyone wants to chat fell free to give me a shout.
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Groups: Joined: 8/24/2009 Posts: 759
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Hi Juicy,
This is something my dh and i have considered and will def do in due course. I have read here i think that you need ur own lo's to be at least three which will rule us out for a few years but it doesn't mention that on hse or other websites (that i saw)
Do you know if thats right ?
Thx
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Groups:
Joined: 7/8/2004
Posts: 2
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Hi MrsBT, the general rule the HSE have is that there is at least a 2 year age gap between your children & any child placed with you. My kids were 3.5 & 8 so we were allowed to take a child of 0-1 and 5-7 at the time of our approval. We thought it was best for our eldest that she remained head of the house hold which sw totally agreed with.
We enquired about forstering the end of Jan & it took until September for us to go before the board. We didn't do our course until the following Feb but as I had grown up with foster siblings our application wasnt held back. I would recommend if possible that you do the course before starting the assessment as it deals with a lot of issues that familys need to be aware of.
Let me know if I can be of any more help.
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Groups: Joined: 8/24/2009 Posts: 759
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Thanks Juicy !
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Groups: Joined: 4/18/2010 Posts: 142
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Hi my parents used to foster aswell, myself and my twin were four when it started, the first two children stayed with us for a week and the next two my parents fostered were brother and sister, the girl was 18months and we were supposed to have her till she was 18 but she was able to go back home when she was 3, we are still in contact with her as she has had a very sad and tragic life and my parents gave up fostering to give her the time and attention she needed even though she was at back at home, but my parents were glad they did foster even if it was for a short time and Im glad too cos we got to give this girl a family life that she never really had and she loves coming down to our house as much as she can on her holidays, it gives her a sense of belonging and been part of a family! She is besotted with my 10m and m glad I can share him with her. Good luck to anyone who is considering fostering!
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Groups: Joined: 10/23/2008 Posts: 3,393
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Hi girls - I found out I was pregnant shortly after starting this thread and DD is one today! I still want to foster in a few years time and was delighted to see all of your replies! I cant believe I missed them to begin with so thanks for taking the time to give some inside information! :-)
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